MOD MOL
by peronakda
Summary: The Master of Death and the Master of Life meet.


I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter. I make no profit from the creation or posting of this work.

So as a warning, this was written at like 3 am while on an overdoes of coffee and sleep deprivation. I have no idea if I will continue it or not.

Harry.

Being the master of death was not all it was cracked up to be. I ended up spending my life as Harry Potter drugged to the gills by my loving wife, joined the Aurors with my best friend, who knew my kids were not mine. And getting killed in action, by a not so stray curse just after Albus was born. Fuck I hated that name. Why would I ever name my kid after the master puppeteer and his most loyal puppet.

See as the MOD I didn't get to come back to life, or go back through time and fix things. Nope I was chucked into training as an ascended deity. Various god's, master's human and inhuman were my trainers. History time.

See every time a dimension hit critical, I.e. it's destruction, it wiped out the deities. So, the powers that be started making ways for control sets to be made. Enter Ascended deities. Conditions had to be met. Mine were the hollows. I'm not just the master of death. That's too simple a term and an oxymoron.

Any way back to that later. I mentioned sets, right? Well that means pairs. Yin and yang, Soul mates, perfect circle shit like that you know. Except in deities it's fucking permanent. No one else for trillions of eons. Yea I get it, oo the perfect person for you, Love forever etc etc. Sounds great on paper but really, it's just your complete opposite that matches you power and tastes in looks. Personalities are not considered. Which explains why I got stuck with an asshole. Live with each other long enough and you basically absorb part of the others personality. Which explains the way I sound right now? I'm an asshole, he's an asshole, everyone's an asshole. Yeah!

So, it's later. Master of death, Oxymoron, ring any bells? Yea me to. So, I am death not its master. Which means I have fix whatever deaths shouldn't have happened in the dimensions. I protect life. Whereas my partner master of life, fixes the dimensional fuck ups that shouldn't still be alive. He kills those who should be dead. Need I point out Tom Riddle here? See oxymoron.

Partner's, those are chosen by the powers that be. The fates. Fuck those nosy bitches. I'm sure they heard that even if I only thought it. See nosy. And they aren't old or decrepit or even ugly, well if you like women anyway. So, my partner is a man. Pretty damn good looking one to. When I can stand him. Or when I'm horny. He's good at fixing that. Like really good. Which means I spend a lot of time with him. It's a weird working cycle.

Vegeta. Yea that asshole. You know the Saiyan prince etc. etc. He is Life. Which makes sense since he spent years killing off people and entire planets. No discrimination there. Don't like you? Death. Pretty simple. Worked for him. Just now, he's restricted to the fuck ups. Me I save people. Cue Harmonie Saving people thing. Like I did while I was alive. No discrimination here either. Basically, now we are not capable of it. Sure, we have emotions etc. just not the ones that will mess with the balance. Fates fault I'm sure. Well it makes us both frustrated. Lucky as death I can summon the dead. Which we can vent our anger on.

If he annoys me too much for someone to beat up, I summon Chi Chi to bother him for a few days. Since spells don't work on him unless we are on world. He hasn't found a counter to that yet. I'm sure he will eventually. Bulma is just glad he's someone else's problem now. That woman should be a saint. No powers and voluntarily married him. Or she's a masochist. I am not asking.

So now you know who I am what I am and who my partner is. Guess its time to get on with the stories. These will not be told in any order just whatever I decide on. Vegeta might chime in once in a while if I let Chi Chi go. She's currently after him with her pan. I've got to get me one of those. Seems to do wonders. Though can't do this to often don't want him stupid like Goku. Fuck she heard that. Gotta go. Vegeta stop laughing you, asshole!

Vegeta

So, while he busy being a dumbass and not remembering he can just banish the banshee, I'll talk about how I got here. Here, where's here you are wondering? Well it's kind of like Omni King's outpost thing in design, you know after the second Omni King showed up, just without the attendants and angels. It gets fucking boring up here. Though we are allowed to visit dimensions. Don't need to lose to many screws you know. I mean look at Hari. Yes, I call him that. Not calling him Harry sounds too much like hairy and just no. Bulma was bad enough, sounds like an eating disorder. Which Saiyan's don't have. Don't think he has screws loose? He regularly summons my ex-wife, widow whatever she is and talks to her.

Back on track, I was promoted to master of life after becoming the last surviving Saiyan that had been revived so many times and fit the partner requirement for that one. Evidently, he'd been running around without one for a couple eons. Might explain some things. Needless to say, I was not impressed when I met him. We Saiyan's never really discriminated on a gender, to many planets that had no such thing. I mean look at him, the hair, the glasses, why he keeps them when his eyes are prefect I don't know. We are both at our peak physically. Mentally not so much. We have our ticks. He still eats like a bird too, just means more for me though. Kami his personality though I'm sure a cavity would have a cavity from being around him. Sure, I made him an asshole but he did the opposite to me to. I know have my "mushy" moments. Ugh. If any of the self-respecting Saiyan's saw me now. No Goku doesn't count. I mean look what he was married to and afraid of. That baka wouldn't know self-respect if it bit him in the ass and then introduced itself. Awe he banished her, well there went my entertainment for now.

"Finally remember you could do that?"

"Shut it Vegeta you could have reminded me."

"Now where is the fun in that Hari?"

"Shut up before I lock you in a power suppression room with Krillin."

"Yes dear."

"Asshole."


End file.
